365 Days of Writing – Day 71

My (ex?)-mother-in-law passed away while I was in India. She had been in and out of the hospital. It was her time, as the saying goes. I hesitate to say ex mother-in-law because I’d promised her I hadn’t divorced her when I divorced her son. She was accepting of the idea. “It just happens,” was her only comment.

My ex-husband seems to be handling her passing well. It wasn’t as if her death was unexpected. She’d been doing poorly for a while now. I hope she didn’t suffer. She deserved, as does everyone, go leave this world in peace.

Just four days ago a co-worker’s father passed away or as his son says “transitioned.” I suppose it is something which all of us of a certain age will be dealing with sooner or later. This is the first family member my daughter has lost. I haven’t been able to speak with her but, typical of our means of communication, she and I have texted. I’m not surprised that she’s handling it well. I’m glad that she was here over the holidays and had a chance to spend time with her Grandmother. I think it was always in the back of my mind that it could be the last time she would see her.

I never knew any of my grandparents. My maternal grandparents passed away long before I was born and my parents were estranged soon after I was born so we had no contact with my paternal grandparents. From what I’ve heard of them from my mother, granted not the most unbiased observer, I’m better off not having met them. I had have very little experience with death. The first person I knew who passed was my ex’s grandmother. I’d met her only a few times but I found her to be absolutely charming and at peace with dying. She was in hospice care when I met her so it wasn’t long before we learned she was gone. The family came together and did a very impromptu gathering where everyone shared their memories of Janie Boy (her nick-name). I thought it was a beautiful way to honor her. I was the only one there in tears! Everyone else was laughing and remembering all the good times they’d had. That’s how I want to be remembered when I go.

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